


Hold up, Cowboy

by Ephemera_pop (Alex_Draven)



Category: Popslash
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Secret Santa, mtyg, rodeo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-25
Updated: 2009-12-25
Packaged: 2018-10-19 15:26:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10642677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_Draven/pseuds/Ephemera_pop
Summary: "Excuse me? Mr McLean?"The voice sounded out of place amongst the general hubub of the rodeo crowd - too cultured, that kind of generic tv news accent instead of the waves of Texan drawl and Colorado twang. Plus, 'Excuse me'? Most everyone AJ knew would just holler at him to wait up, and the fans were usually all 'hey! AJ, my man!' or they'd at least add a 'sir' to it, if they were the formal type. No, this guy wasn't part of the usual comings and goings around the ring.He was still trying to catch AJ's attention though, pushing his way through the crowd, waving one long-fingered hand in the air above him. Persistent, this one. AJ slowed down and turned around. Long tall drink of water, too, with straggling curls of long hair escaping from a ponytail, and no hat. What kind of guy comes out to a rodeo in mid summer and doesn't wear a hat? The kind of guy who evidently didn't mind drawing attention to his high cheekbones by highlighting them with the hot pink flush of a sunburn on the way, apparently.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for JM, for Make the Yuletide Gay, 2009

AJ was grinning, exhausted, sweaty, dirty, and having a damned good day! Okay, so his left shoulder was really starting to throb, but the buzz of the ride had been bolstered by the applause when he'd run out to collect his winnings, and so long as no one decided to give him a hearty slap on the back to congratulate him, everything was golden as he headed back to the competitors parking lot.

"Go Bone!" Nick yelled across the crowded walkway, already being swept along towards the ring by the time AJ could pick him out. The woman who'd almost run into him when AJ had stopped and turned rolled her eyes impatiently, and stepped around him.

"Thanks - go kick ass, you hear me!" AJ called back, knowing that Nick was a shoo-in for his bull-roping class.

Nick's answer was a wild-sounding "yahoo!" before the rodeo crowd swallowed him entirely. AJ rubbed one hand along his own shoulder, stretching his neck against the ache, and resumed walking.

"Excuse me? Mr McLean?"

The voice sounded out of place amongst the general hubub of the rodeo crowd - too cultured, that kind of generic tv news accent instead of the waves of Texan drawl and Colorado twang. Plus, 'Excuse me'? Most everyone AJ knew would just holler at him to wait up, and the fans were usually all 'hey! AJ, my man!' or they'd at least add a 'sir' to it, if they were the formal type. No, this guy wasn't part of the usual comings and goings around the ring.

He was still trying to catch AJ's attention though, pushing his way through the crowd, waving one long-fingered hand in the air above him. Persistent, this one. AJ slowed down and turned around. Long tall drink of water, too, with straggling curls of long hair escaping from a ponytail, and no hat. What kind of guy comes out to a rodeo in mid summer and doesn't wear a hat? The kind of guy who evidently didn't mind drawing attention to his high cheekbones by highlighting them with the hot pink flush of a sunburn on the way, apparently.

"Mr McLean?" the guy was saying, and AJ stepped closer to the back of the doughnut trailer they were passing, and offered his hand to make it clear that he wasn't backing off, just stepping out of the flow of people around them. The guy's handshake was firm, but his skin was smooth against AJ's callouses - city boy, for sure. Still - honest handshake, and those clear blue eyes... AJ blinked.

"That's me," he said, "I don't believe I've had the pleasure?"

"Oh, I'm JC, erm, I mean, Joshua Chasez, doctoral student, hi."

"Hi," AJ mirrored, giving the guy a ghost of a smile as he pumped their joined hands once more.

JC let go, and the pink of his cheeks flared just a shade brighter. AJ was careful not to let his smile show anything, but man, this guy was easy to fluster.

"You're probably wondering why I was wanting to talk to you."

"You're not looking for an autograph, are you?"

"You sign autographs?" JC seemed surprised. "I mean - no, that's not it, but - wow. I guess I have a lot to learn."

"Student, huh? You don't seem like a regular freshman to me."

"What? Oh, man, no - doctoral student, like - PhD? Working on my thesis - I haven't been a freshman for nearly nine years now. See that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Not being a freshman?"

"My thesis."

"You were wanting to talk to me about your thesis?" AJ would have cranked up the polite incomprehension if he'd been meaning to really tease, but he had to admit, he was getting kind of curious.

"Yes. I wanted to ask you if you'd consider letting me interview you. For my thesis."

"You want to interview me?"

"For my thesis. I'm an anthropologist, and I thought I was going to do something with comparative queer subcultural studies, but you would not believe how many unpublished thesi there are on the circuit scene, and guys on the down-low and some of the bear ones actually end up with commercial publishers, but that mine has been stripped, I tell you. No way I'm going to get anything original there unless I get really deep into one of the cultural theory interpretations, and that pseudo-lit-crit stuff really isn't my bag. I'm more kind of into the real life side of things - like immersive observation, and statistical analysis, when you can get any kind of quantitative data to work with."

AJ couldn't help it. He was smiling.

"Okay, sure," he interrupted. "Let's do it."

JC came to a halt in the middle of a sentence and blinked at AJ, like he wasn't sure he was hearing right, and then, when AJ kept smiling, JC erupted with a huge grin that swallowed up his eyes.

"Oh, man - thank you! Thank you, so much! I had no idea - I mean, coming out here without any credentials and - really?"

AJ chuckled. "Sure thing." Lord - if only it was always this easy to make folks happy! "I ain't never done an interview for anything academic before, though, so - you're going to have to tell me what you need me to do."

"Oh, yes, no - of course. It's really straight forward. Just me and my recorder, really."

"That sounds pretty doable. You got a place set up?"

"I, um, no? I was figuring maybe I could treat you to lunch in town tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? I'll be on the road tomorrow, son."

JC's smile vanished as fast as it had bloomed. "Really? I thought you'd be here for a while. It's three weeks till the next rodeo."

"Till the next Association rodeo, maybe. You're coming at this from the queer side of the deal, not the rodeo, huh?"

"That obvious?" JC sounded despairing.

"You notice any other folks out here this afternoon not wearing a hat in this sun?"

AJ meant it as a gentle nudge, but the guy looked like AJ had just called his mother's virtue into question.

JC touched his face, winced away from the press of one long finger, and looked down at his feet. AJ followed JC's look, taking in skinny legs in jeans with the knees worn to threads, and converse sneakers looking out of place amongst the dust and trodden grass. AJ decided to take pity on him.

"Well, what are you doing tonight? I got my RV parked just over the lot there, and I don't tend to spend a lot of my prize money on booze these days."

He did tend to take his pick from the phone numbers scrawled on screwed up paper that got thrust into his hand at IRGA events, but something about this tall, lanky stranger made AJ want to do the guy a favour. Worse case, he'd get to feel good about helping someone out, and - who knew - maybe JC would want to express his gratitude or something?

It took JC a second, but once he'd parsed AJ's suggestion, that all-consuming grin was back.

"Oh, Mr McLean - that would just be great - thank you!"

AJ smiled right back at him. He had a feeling that tomorrow's drive might be more entertaining than the usual.

"Oh, just one thing, Dr Joshua - you call me Mr McLean again, your ass'll be dust. You hear me? Mr McLean's for officers of the law and for accountants. Call me AJ."

"AJ," JC beamed some more, radiating happiness and enthusiasm. "That's just - thank you!"

"It's nothing - just talking, right?"

"Well," JC hesitated, a crease appearing between his eyebrows. "There's a little bit of paper work, just to say that I told you what I was working on, and that you agree to me quoting you."

"Well, okay then. So long as that's written in English, and not in legal-eagle, I'll sign it, and we can get going."

"Mr- AJ, that's just - you're a prince amongst men." JC smiled at him, and, flattered, AJ smiled back, then hiked a thumb over his shoulder, indicating the competitors' camping area.

"You want to come on back to my RV? It's mighty warm out here, and there's a cold soda in there with my name on it."

"You're the boss," JC agreed easily, and then fell into step as AJ headed towards his home away from home.

"Darn it, I should have asked - you're not scared of dogs, are you?" AJ hesitated, half turning on one boot heel. JC looked bemused, and shook his head, sending the stray curls that had escaped from his ponytail dancing around his cheekbones.

"Man, I love dogs. Why, you have one?"

AJ chuckled, and started walking again, turning the final corner to his spot. "I have a whole pack, back home, but my mom's watching them for me. It's just Bernie who comes on the road with me."

"Bernie, ok - how come he's called Be-" JC's conversational question was interrupted by Bernie hurtling down the length of his tie-line with an enthusiastic welcome - all oversized paws and dog-slobber and wagging tails. "You're a good boy, yes you are, Bernie-boy! Yes!"

AJ grinned - normally it was him baby-talking his dog, but as Bernie nearly pretzeled himself trying to welcome AJ back and say hi to a whole new exciting person who was more than willing to scritch behind Bernie's ears and thump on his sides, it was impossible to be jealous.

JC smiled up at him, fingers still working on the sweet-spot behind Bernie's ears. "Imaginative naming scheme," he said.

"Eh," AJ shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway, you want to come on in out of the sun?"

The RV was small, hot, and a little beat up, but AJ had it set up just the way he liked it - room to stash his riding gear, a carefully designed cubby for his guitar, a good-size refrigerated cool box, and an almost full-sized bed. Plus a shower cubical fed from a tank of sun warmed water on the roof. AJ fastened the door open, for the breeze and for Bernie, and opened both the side windows before reaching into the cool box for a drink. JC stood, hesitating, by the two steps up the van's side.

"Come on in here and let me get you a drink," AJ called. "I got water, Pepsi, Gatorade, or Fanta."

"Water's good." JC's height made the RV's interior seem cramped, and AJ gestured for him to take a seat on the bench seat next to the microwave, then dropped down on the opposite edge of it himself, before passing JC the condensation-slick bottle of water. AJ cracked a Gatorade and glugged it down in four long swallow, before opening the second lurid blue bottle, and taking a more measured sip.

"Man, I thought I was parched!" JC said, stopping only half way down his bottle.

"Those eight seconds don't half make a man's mouth dry out, let me tell you that." AJ raised his Gatorade in a plastic bottle toast, and JC leaned forward to reciprocate.

"You looked good out there, today."

"Well, thank you." AJ preened a little. It had been a good ride - a good score, too, and good prize money, and, hell, he did look good. Part of the job, 'specially at IGRA events. "You watch a lot of bull riding?"

"Some- PBR on satellite, mostly, when I was thinking about this project. Went to a few local rodeos back home, too. Nothing on this kind of scale, though."

"Yeah? Which ones?"

JC mentioned a couple of small towns, and AJ nodded. "Yeah, I don't get up that way much - not worth the gas for that prize money. Not worth the bruises, either."

"But you do compete at regular rodeos, too, right?"

"Well, yeah. If I didn't ride at straight events, I'd only get to compete, what, fifteen, sixteen, times a year? Even if I drove all over the place."

"But they know your orientation, right?" JC asked.

AJ snorted. "Oh, they know - rodeo world ain't that big, and I think most of the guys had a suspicion long before I won my first IGRA prize."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah - I'm not what you'd call good at keeping my mouth shut."

AJ hadn't even thought about how that might sound until it was out of his mouth, and when he did, he shot a look at JC, caught JC's eye, and that just made it harder to ignore. Especially when JC was clearly trying not to laugh, which just set AJ off himself, because - wasn't that the truth? He'd gotten sloppy-drunk the first time he'd scored into the money at a state fair, and come out by propositioning Kev Richardson, offering to blow the guy's cock, right there in beer tent.

"Nah," AJ said, drawing breath as the laughter died away. "Everyone knows, and most of the time people don't force the issue, so long as don't. It don't matter how good I ride, though, - some folks are just never going to think anything else about me, but that I'm a faggot. I could score 99.9 and they still wouldn't think I had any right putting my name into the draw." AJ shrugged. "I mean, it ain't all of them, not by a long shot, else I probably wouldn't still be competing, but it's enough of the to make me damn grateful that the queer rodeos are out there."

AJ paused to take another mouthful of his drink.

"So, how did you - actually," JC interrupted himself. "Would you mind if I set up my recorder?

AJ blinked. Even though it was the entire point, he'd almost forgotten for a moment that that was why JC was here at all.

"Oh, sure. Go for it. You want me to sign that paperwork as well?"

"That would be great," JC answered, wedging his water bottle against his thigh and pulling his battered leather bag up onto his lap. He fiddled around with a little hand-held recorder while AJ scanned the single side of consent form, and cheerfully scrawled his signature across it.

"There," he said, passing it back. "So, you were about to ask something?"

JC set the recorder on the ledge that ran along the back of the bench, and turned back around, one knee pulled up and a sneakered foot resting over the opposite thigh, so he was facing AJ.

"I guess I have two questions, really - how you got into the rodeo in the first place, and, well, how you realised you weren't straight."

"I grew up in rural Texas, and I grew up in rural Texas," AJ answered glibly, but when he saw JC's shoulders tense up, relented. "But I guess you want little more detail, huh?"

"Ideally, yeah!"

JC's relieved smile was almost as delicious as his 'thank you' glee smile, so AJ took another swallow of his Gatorade, and settled back to talk about joining Future Farmers of America in middle school, because of the hot high-school mentors at least as much as for the animal husbandry, and how everything had just gone from there. JC nodded, and frowned, and asked more questions, and made AJ laugh sometimes, because his paper knowledge of rodeo and ranching were so unlike AJ's own experiences.

Without either of them being really aware of the time passing the sun set and was replaced by the camping site floods, the public address system shifted from broadcasting tinny commentary to tinny music, and the evening breeze cooled the RV.

"I can't believe you're out here and you never even sat on a horse! Seriously?"

It wasn't the first time in their conversation that AJ had come back to JC's total lack of experience with any animal larger than Bernie.

"Seriously." JC shook his head and laughed, "That really so hard to believe?"

"Yeah. I don't know - how serious are you about this participant observer stuff?"

"What? It underpins everything I study and want to study. What does that have to do with horses?" He seemed genuinely confused, and AJ patted his leg. They'd both slumped down, legs pressed together, heads resting on the ledge along with the long-forgotten dictaphone.

"You can can talk to folks till you're blue in the face, but, the way I see it? The only way you're going to get what queer rodeo's all about is to - well - participate. How are you going to write a book about what I do if you've never experienced it?"

JC's thigh tightened under AJ's hand. "You want me to ride a bull? I'd get killed! I broke my wrist just falling off my chopper!"

"Hey, hey!" AJ matched his words with soothing stokes along JC's leg - and damned if that didn't put ideas in AJ's mind already - "I'm not proposing to send you down the chute with a fresh bull, but I'm talking about the kind of thing you'd do at some tourist dude ranch: get you on a horse, doing a little neck reining, that kind of thing."

"Really? I don't know, although - no - you're right - I should participate more if I want to get really enmeshed in this, and - thank you! That would be awesome."

"Cool." AJ patted JC's le at hug, thinking through who might still be around and who had a gentle enough horse with them they'd be willing to loan out, when another idea hit him. "Oh! I bet Nick could run you through the basics with a rope, too."

"See, you say something like that, and I think about bondage, not farm animals," JC smart-aleced back at him.

The memory of Nick, wrists bound behind him, back arched, and head thrown back flashed through AJ's mind, swiftly replaced by a more imaginative scene featuring JC in the staring role.

"Yeah, they're not mutually exclusive 'round here," was what he meant to say, but somehow "hell, if that's your kink, you might have something to trade Nick in exchange, as well as a head start on the knots." followed it.

JC was blushing again, and AJ couldn't resist pushing things just a little further. "Let me tell you - Nick? So fucking hot when he's tied up, and you're pretty much his type. He has good taste, at least in guys. Girls not so much. Did you meet Nick?"

"Carter?" JC said, sounding not a little shell shocked.

"So you know who he is?"

JC nodded, and then cleared his throat. "Tall, blond guy, right? Three time champion?"

"That's my boy - wicked, wicked, way with knots."

JC's cheeks were flaming. "I'm sure," he replied, dryly. "Not so much my type, though."

"No? So what is your type?"

"I don't - hey! how come you're asking the questions now?"

"You never heard the saying that turn about is fair play?"

JC rolled his eyes, but settled back in his seat. "I don't have a type. I mean - it always seems so narrow minded to shut down the opportunity for a connection with someone just because they don't meet some pre-defined list of characteristics, you know?"

"So you don't have a type, but Nick's not it?"

"I don't know - I haven't met him." JC seemed flustered. "He's probably a wonderful guy, but, um, the knots thing? That's not my, um, kink."

"Ohh, okay." AJ nodded in understanding, and realised that he was stroking JC leg again. "So, what is your kink?"

"I don't...., that is ..." JC floundered, and shifted uncomfortably on the bench. AJ surprised himself by taking his hand back, and changing the subject back to JC's study.

"I meant it, though - you should give calf roping a go. I can talk to Nick, set something up. I can't really give you a taster session for bull riding, unless you count those bar-bull machines, which, by the way, I don't."

"Kind of like karaoke isn't really singing, right?"

"Yeah! Exactly!"

"OK," JC took a deep breath. "Turn and turn about, right?"

"Huh?"

"If you tell me about - you've hooked up with guys at rodeo events, right? You tell me about that, and I'll tell you about the last guy I, you know?"

"Oh, okay - sure." AJ was confused - for a guy who had turned up out of the blue wanting to talk queer rodeo, JC sure seemed to find it tough to talk about the queer part of the topic. Still, it wasn't as though he had any problem talking about his hook ups - Brian would say that his problem was that he never shut up about them - and he was mighty curious about this intriguing city boy, and his delicate reactions.

"You want me to tell you about Nick, or, I don't know, the last time I actually hooked up with someone I didn't know at one of these gigs?"

JC was looking up at the roof of the RV, turning his empty water bottle around in his hands as he answered. "Um, whichever was most recent?"

"Most recent, ok .... oh! Denver! Dude - that was fun. Total stranger - didn't even give me his number, just danced up on me in the bar, and - man. Me, I have a type - I like 'em tall, and I like 'em with their hair in their eyes, and - this guy - Phil - I should tell you, he was all that, plus he was the spitting image of this guy, Kevin, I used to have the biggest thing for, so I was not hanging around when he started dancing up close, and giving me the eye, you know? Ended up pulling him in by the belt loops, slow stepping with him right there, running my hands up his back, teasing my fingers up around the edge of his collar, letting him palm my ass, and - Christ. You know that electric moment, when you're just soaking it all up - the chemistry, the smell, the way he's looking at you, when you know that he's as hard as you are, and everything's just falling into place?" JC nodded absently, and AJ continued. "Man, he was something else. Came back to the van, and I don't think we slept till dawn - he must have gotten me off four different ways, and - you know how some older guys are? All that practice, all that experience ... mmh!"

AJ shook his head slightly, and looked across the shadowed kitchen nook to see how his guest was reacting.

"So - your last guy - older or younger?" he prompted, figuring to get JC started with an easy one.

"Oh, um, older - actually, one of the professors in my department, although, thank goodness, not someone who's officially teaching me. That would really suck."

"No student-teacher messing about?"

"Exactly - so he's not my teacher, but - I mean, he's super smart, and really sarcastic. Never lets anything just go past him, you know?"

"I get that," AJ agreed. "So what's he look like?"

"Kind of short, dark hair, glasses."

"Oh, so a proper bookworm, then, peering over his glasses?"

JC snorted. "Not hardly - if you didn't know he was a prof, you'd think he worked in a bar or something - he has his hair all spiked up, ear-rings, all these tattoos. I never thought I'd find tattoos sexy until I met Chris. The idea of them kind of freaks me out, but now ... "

JC paused and AJ looked over, to see JC's eyes running over his own forearms, tracing the ink. The RV suddenly seemed closer, quieter, than before, the air a little heavier.

"You like the ink, huh?"

JC nodded slowly.

AJ tightened his abs, sitting up without moving his legs, just long enough to pull his shirt off over his head, to reveal his bare shoulders in his white wife-beater.

"I got the bull the first year I competed," AJ said, pointing to his left shoulder as he settled back against the bench. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see JC lick his lips, and then look away. "I add a star every season I'm still putting my name in."

"How about the others?" JC asked, his voice noticeably hoarse, shifting in his seat in a way that suggested those tight jeans were getting even tighter. AJ was careful not to let his own mounting excitement show.

"Well, this one? That's for my mom." AJ trailed his finger from his shoulder across to his collarbone, intentionally suggestive. "And this one - it's a butt-ugly tattoo, but that's for the first guy I ever loved. Broke my heart, and all that jazz, but I ain't never going to forget him." AJ dropped his voice. "It's okay to touch," he offered.

JC hesitated, and then reached out, carefully, running a single finger tip over the bull on AJ's shoulder, so lightly it tickled, which sent a shiver of anticipation up AJ's spine. He leaned into the touch as JC's finger came over the top of his shoulder, following one of the trailing ribbons of the design, and then put his own hand over JC's guiding it down towards his chest, his nipple.

JC's sharp intake of breath was loud in the hushed space, and he jerked away. "I... I can't."

"Sure you can - unless - shit, are and that Chris guy boyfriends or something?"

"No! - I wish, but, no, it's just - it wouldn't be ethical."

"Ethical?" AJ frowned at JC. He'd been turned down plenty of ways, but never ethics!

"If you're the subject of my study, it wouldn't be right for me to - it would be interfering."

"I thought you were meant to be participating?"

"I am! I mean -" JC waved his arms, like that would explain whatever it was that he did mean.

"Hell, hooking up at the queer rodeo's practically part of the methodology, ain't it?"

"It wouldn't be ethical!" JC wailed, and then added in a rush "And I never - I don't just hook up with guys."

AJ's excitement turned to ice in his guts. "You can pussy out of the rodeo part, but you tellin' me you don't participate in the queer either? So what, you get your kicks pretending to be a homo to get folks to tell you stuff? That's kind of sick." Sick because it had worked - AJ had been happy to spill his guts, and this guy was just a spectator?

"I'm not!" JC protested. "That isn't ..."

"You can't pretend to be gay to get in on a scene, and then start talking about 'ethics' when the people you're lying to expect you to walk the walk. You know what? Just get out of here! This isn't some freak show, set up so you can watch some tame queers put on a show for you."

"Don't!" JC burst out, and with that, JC was on his feet, stumbling out of the RV, leaving AJ alone in the gloom, listening to the distant, familiar sounds of the fair going on without him. His frustration turned inwards, and he dropped his head back against the hard edge of the ledge behind him a few times.

Bernie padded up the stairs, and rested his head on AJ's leg, looking up at him with sad, comforting eyes.

AJ pulled those soft, warm, ears through his fingers. "You think maybe I over-reacted again?" AJ asked the quiet night. "Sometimes, I'm a total douchebag, huh, boy?"

Bernie's tail thumped against the side of the bench. Unconditional love.

After a long moment, AJ sighed, and got to his feet. No point crying over spilt milk, after all, and he really needed a shower.

Standing in the cramped shower, letting luke-warm water run over him long after the soap was gone, AJ couldn't shake the thought that maybe getting pissed because the guy didn't offer to make out in exchange for AJ talking to him was a really really crappy thing to have done. So maybe the guy was pretending to be queer, but maybe he was curious, or celibate, or just wasn't attracted to him? Forcing the point was crappy enough behaviour that he could almost wish he was still drinking so he could pretend that it was the whisky that'd made him do it, rather than the uncomfortable reality that apparently he was that guy, all by himself.

It wasn't a comforting thought process.

AJ shut off the water before the tank ran dry entirely, and wrapped a towel around his waist. To get to his bed he had to walk through the kitchenette, where the discarded bottles and - oh, crap. JC's recorder was still sitting on the ledge behind the bench, quietly recording everything that had transpired.

"Well, crap," AJ said out loud, turning the device around in his hands to find the off switch. Not only was he the kind of jerk that yelled and kicked people out when they declined his advances, he was also the kind of jerk who hadn't asked for any kind of contact details. He hadn't even asked which university JC was studying at.

Bernie looked up from his place on the end of AJ's bed, and pricked his ears.

"Never mind, boy," AJ said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I just did a dumb thing. Nothing new there, huh?"

Bernie settled down under AJ's hand as he got the attention he'd been hoping for, as AJ thought about whether he should call Brian or not. It wasn't so late, really, but late enough that Brian's little boy would be asleep, and AJ always felt bad about waking the kid once his best friend had finally gotten him settled. It wasn't like he was about to go out and drown his sorrows, or anything, but - Brian was more than just a sponsor.

AJ was just trying to remember if he'd left his cell in the pocket of the jeans he'd been wearing before he'd gotten changed to compete, or if he was going to have to put clothes on to go around to the RV's cab to dig it out of the glove box when there was a tentative knocking at the RV's door.

Bernie perked up, but didn't move.

"Hello?" came a voice. "Mr McLean?"

AJ got up; holding his towel firmly in place with one hand, he used the other to open the door. JC looked up at him, something defensive and brave about the way he was holding himself.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," AJ said.

"Look, I'm ..." "I guess I" - they both spoke, both stopped, and, Lord, he'd had one night stands with straight guys that had included actual sex and had still turned out less awkward than this the morning after.

"I owe you an apology." AJ broke the grid lock. "I was a jerk, and I'm really sorry."

JC blinked, and then blurted out, "I came back to apologise."

"Apologise? I thought you came back for your recorder."

"Recorder - oh! I'd completely forgotten about that. No -that's not it."

"Oh. But then...really? Because I was being a total douchebag, and I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to see me again."

"If anything, I was the one being the jerk, and I'm sorry. I kind of over-reacted, and I've been thinking about it, and, um, I wasn't - I mean, I am gay, but - " JC paused and looked around the camping area. "Can I come in?"

"I guess. Give me a second to get dressed, okay?" He owed the guy at least the chance to explain in private.

JC politely turned his back, while AJ pulled on a pair of sweats, and hung the damp towel around his shoulders before coming back to the door to wave JC in. Then he sat on the edge of the bed, across from where JC was sitting on the bench.

"Okay, explain to me again how my making assumptions about your orientation and trying to blackmail you into sex was something you think you have to apologise for?" AJ asked.

JC hunched forward, hands clasped between his legs. "Because I wasn't up front with you."

"That still don't make it right for me to put the moves on you."

"I kind of wanted you to, it's just - God, this is embarrassing. Look, I'm not some straight guy trying to get an angle, okay? I can see how you might have thought that, but I'm not. It's more that, well, I guess you could say my participation in queer life's been more kind of, um, theoretical rather than practical?"

AJ wasn't completely sure if that meant what he thought it meant - and if it did, wow, he really had been a jerk. "So - what? When you said you don't hook up with guys?"

"More like I haven't, um. Ever. I mean, I guess technically masturbation's a homosexual act, especially if you're watching gay porn when you do it, but, um, yeah, no. Me and Chris - we never actually ... I mean, he has no idea that I think about him like that. At least I really, really hope he doesn't, and - what you said, about needing to participate, you kind of freaked me out, but you're right."

"No, dude, I'm pretty sure that telling you you should exchange blowjobs for research material is pretty shitty. Especially shitty, considering."

JC shook his head.

"You didn't. And using ethics as an excuse for not doing something I want but I'm scared of? Where's that going to get me?"

"Away from the douchebag who's trying to push you into something you don't want?"

"Hey," JC was looking at him, frowning. "You're not - really - I want, okay? You didn't force anything."

AJ snorted.

"You didn't! Lord, I have screwed this up. Listen, AJ - I can still call you AJ, right?"

AJ nodded, not really following.

"Look, AJ, why do you think I picked you, out of all the guys that were competing here, I picked you to talk with?"

"I don't know - I figured 'cos I'm a winner, you know - have a profile."

"Well sure, but - that's not the only reason. I was figuring, you know, I ought to try and get Chris out of my mind, but I'm - you were right, I'm a pussy, I figured you were hot, and smart, and your whole story, your strength, just blows me away, and I figured that maybe I could get you to agree to be in the study, and I'd get to spend time around you, but you'd be in the study, so I wouldn't ever have to do anything apart from just fantasise about whatever with you, and then, bam, there you are, and it's no fantasy, and - that's why I freaked out, ok? Not cos I didn't want to fool around, but because I did."

JC's eyes were wide and earnest, looking up at AJ from under that mess of hair, and before AJ could formulate a response, he started talking again.

"And now I've really made things weird, and if you want me to, I'll go, but if you think it wouldn't be crazy, I'd really like to - to start over, maybe? However you want it to be - just an interview, or, um, more participatory than that."

"More participatory, huh?"

"Or not, if that's not - I mean - I guess at least you know now why it wouldn't just be fooling around for me, and I know that kind of bothers some people, but ..."

"So, you've never ridden a horse, nor gotten off with a guy, and I get to introduce you to both parts of the queer rodeo?"

"That's pretty much - yeah."

"Wow." AJ realised he was smiling again, the sick, guilty feeling having evaporated under JC's earnest words. "You know, that's way more than a one-night job."

"I guess so," JC agreed, looking away.

"So, um, here's a plan. You want to ride with me awhile? Say till the next IGRA event? See what we can learn about each other in three weeks?"

It took a second, but then that incredible smile took aver JC's face again, and he was all "Thank you! Just - thank you!" until AJ leaned across the space between them and silenced him, by sliding one hand around the back of JC's head, and tugged him closer for a gentle kiss.

Wow. Just - AJ dove back in for a deeper kiss as JC's mouth opened under his, sweet and hungry, JC's hands coming up to pull him closer, skidding over the still damp skin of his back, tangling in his hair, JC's enthusiasm stealing his breath. AJ landed on his knees between JC's legs, the awkward angle breaking their embrace for a moment, and JC - swear to God - JC whimpered, which made AJ heady as all his blood rushed south. AJ reached up to cup JC's face, fingers searching out the angle of his jaw, the line of those incredible cheekbones.

"We don't have to rush," he said, wanting to be sure this time that he wasn't taking advantage.

"I don't want to wait," came the reply, and then JC's mouth was on his again, and - no doubting the guy's enthusiasm, nor his intent. The kiss was a little rough, less controlled than AJ had expected, more pressure, the bruising tang of tooth against lip as he yielded to JC's tongue. JC's hands were busy, too, giving him goosebumps as they roamed up and down his bare back, urging him to reciprocate, only JC's shirt remained stubbornly tucked into his belt, leaving AJ feeling his way over taut muscles and delicate ribs through the cotton. He could feel the lift and curve as JC snatched breaths between kisses, imagined he could feel the heat radiating from JC's crotch, and pulled more firmly at JC's shirt, wanting skin, but not wanting to let go.

"Ah!" JC moaned, as AJ's forward pressure brushed his body against JC's crotch, and then '"Bed?"

Wordless, AJ pulled back, half falling to land back against the edge of the bed, then scrambling up to lie on it, as JC followed, looming over him. Those long fingers traced AJ's face for a second, unbearably tender, and then JC was on top of him, kissing him, shirt buttons and belt scratching against AJ's bare stomach, and there was no way that JC could have missed AJ's erection, but that didn't stop him pressing closer, rocking against him with pressure that made AJ hiss and a curse, because, damn! Practically perfect, JC's untutored blend of hunger and restraint was hitting every one of AJ's hot spots.

AJ fumbled his hands between them, trying for JC's shirt buttons, but only got part way before JC pushed them away.

"I want," is all JC said, between deep breaths, and then he slid back, pressing his face to AJ's stomach, and tugged at the waistband of AJ's sweats. Pretty clear what he wanted, then, and if AJ had had enough brainpower left to worry about being someone's experiment, JC's desire would have answered any worries - diving directly for cock wasn't a straight-guy trait. AJ arched up, letting JC peel his clothes away and leave him exposed and hard under JC's gaze. The RV was dark, reflected light from the parking lot floods the only illumination, but the pure desire on JC's face was unmistakable, and it sent AJ flying, encouraged him to sprawl, wanton, running one hand down his own body while reaching out to JC with the other.

"Please?" he asked - panted - "Anything you want."

His hand wrapped around his own cock, his own gasp matched by JC's, and then JC's fingers were firm around his wrist.

"Let me?" JC whispered, and then there was the the tentative brush of JC's dry finger tips over AJ's glans, before JC took a firmer grip, and AJ arched back on the bed. JC pumped him with one hand, explored his balls with feather light touches of the other, and for one moment AJ thought he was going to come right there and then, like a teenage boy. Instead he trapped his lip between his teeth, whimpered, and then managed to say 'Good', oh, so good!' in case JC might misinterpret.

"So good," JC breathed back, and then - AJ bit down on the side of his hand to keep from screaming aloud - because JC's tongue was hot, and wet, and tentative at first, but then - of, God - JC moaned, deep in his chest, and the first burning dabs became regular, firm, slick, licks, making AJ twist and whimper. When JC's mouth closed entirely around AJ's head, JC's fist tightening around his shaft, JC's hair tickling AJ's bare thighs, it took every ounce of AJ's self control not to buck up roughly. It as exquisite torture to hold himself still while JC learned his shape, his size, when to squeeze, when to suck, until AJ was panting, moaning, on the edge of coming.

"Stop!" He pushed roughly at JC's shoulder, "I'm going to - ah!"

JC sucked hard, a perfect pulse of pressure, and then pulled back, hand still pumping. "Fuck, oh, fuck! AJ yelled, as he came, spilling over JC's hot hand, the friction shifting in a heartbeat from perfect to too much. "Oh!, oh!" he gasped, grabbing for JC's wrist, and then tugging JC up onto the bed, where he could wrap his arms around him.

JC's shirt and jeans scratched against AJ's skin, but the heat, the smell of sweat and sex, the way JC's breath was coming almost as raggedly as AJ's - all of that was amazing. "Fuck and Jesus," AJ panted, finding JC's face, and rolling towards him for another kiss. "You are something else!" he murmured against JC's lips.

"I am!" JC protested, with a broad smile, the laughter in his voice transforming to startled pleasure when AJ pushed one hand between them, gripping JC's erection firmly through the stiff jeans. "Oh!"

He froze, and then pushed up into AJ's hand, before forcing himself still to allow frantic hands to work on his belt and buttons. He wasn't wearing underwear, so as soon as he had his own buttons open, AJ's hand was wrapped around his heat, the back of his hand scratching along pubes, knuckles scratching on the zip, but JC's erection a perfect weight in his hand, slick already, and just seconds away from covering both their bare bellies in come.

"Something else," AJ murmured again, as JC curled against him, suddenly boneless and relaxed. "Fucking beautful," he added.

"Mmm?"

"You are," AJ smiled, and let himself relax entirely, his bruised shoulder throbbing a little now he stopped to notice, but entirely beyond caring. "Fantastic."

JC shook his head, "Uh-uh - you are. Man - and I get three more weeks of this to learn the ropes?" He sounded incredulous, delighted.

"Yup," AJ agreed happily, thinking that maybe three more months wouldn't be too soon to stop - hell, three more years. "Three weeks on the road, just seeing where that takes us."


End file.
